Song of the Day- Cut by Plumb
Often in texts on Bipolar there is a section on comorbid disorders (disorders that can occur along with Bipolar), some of which include various anxiety disorders. I myself have experienced a lot of anxiety at various points on my Bipolar journey so far, that probably could be categorised as Panic Disorder, Generalised Anxiety, Social Anxiety and Health Anxiety. I prefer to just think of them all bundled up as part of the parcel of Bipolar. The worst I ever felt were during the following times:
– at uni before a big practical lesson likely to last three hours. I was usually so terrified of going in that I would just walk away from everybody and go and hide somewhere in Leeds city centre, often in the cinema on my own (I think I felt safe there in the dark)!
– at uni in Chichester when I was very depressed I was too scared to answer the door or phone, this has reoccurred at various points over the years.
– two Christmasses ago I was absolutely convinced I was going to have a heart attack and felt in constant terror that it was going to happen.
– Fear of socialising with friends particularly in bars and clubs, and with people I was least familiar with. This came and went a lot with depression I think.
– I also remember being in ASDA a few times, walking down the grocery isles and hardly being able to feel or move my legs (my depression symptoms are often very physical) and panicking that I couldn’t get out.
I think to categorise the different anxiety disorder along with Bipolar is a bit meaningless to me as I’ve experienced so many different types during the ups and downs that I would have comorbid disorders coming out of my ears. To me it’s all Bipolar!