You’re So Sensitive

A link to a video just popped up on Twitter from Wayne Dyer (a genius spiritual health writer) entitled “You’re So Sensitive”. Immediately my brain pinged as this is what I’ve been thinking about a lot recently. Bipolar and Borderline Personality often include the characteristic of High Interpersonal Sensitivity. I would like to add Environmental Sensitivity to that also. Elaine Aron also has written a marvellous book entitled The Highly Sensitive Person which highlights the issues of those born with high sensitivity- apparently an ever increasing number.

Coincidentally I already own the book mentioned: The Art of Extreme Self-Care, and to hear Cheryl Richardson talking about sensitivity in such a positive light is so inspiring. The idea that sensitivity is something we need to protect, nurture and cherish is really liberating.

One of the protective measures she suggests is to limit contact with negative, criticising people who drain your energy. It is important for us to be around positive people who we are free to be our authentic self with- we feel safe to do this with them: safe from judgement or disapproval. This is so inline with my post yesterday about the development of an inauthentic self as a result of insecure parenting: Free To Be Average. To free ourselves from inauthenticity we can limit contact with those who see only the inauthentic child they’ve moulded to their preferences. In this way we are creating boundaries. These boundaries create our own private “space”, where we are free to be ourselves.

Other suggestions Cheryl mentions to protect our sensitivity are as follows:

– Turn down the noise! On TVs, iPods, stereos, phone ringtones etc.

– Keep technology at a distance. I have a technology free room at home all to myself as my     boyfriend is a web developer and gadget freak! He is also very partial to his cinema surround-sound system which tends to blast the roof off most days.

– Turn off the violence- don’t watch the news, or violent films/TV. Don’t read newspapers. Mostly easy, but I don’t think I could live without Game of Thrones at the moment though!

So what’s the point in protecting our sensitivity?

Well, as well as being much more relaxed in body and mind and free to be ourselves, our empathic, creative natures will be thriving. People like us ARE needed in the world, just not valued as highly! We need to change that! Where would we be without beautiful art, music, great thinkers, philosophers, film directors, actors, actresses, singers, composers, teachers, counsellors, psychotherapists (indeed!), inspirational speakers and extremely caring friends? The world would be a very dull place indeed!


The Art of Extreme Self-Care – Cheryl Richardson

Be Gentle With Yourself by Word from the Well.

The Highly Sensitive Person- Elaine Aron

Wayne W Dyer– wonderful books for spiritual development and helping understand our purpose in life.

Similar posts on this blog: Free To Be Average; Highly Empathic: Here’re Some Tips; Hypersensitivity Sucks; Towards Healing: Self Forgiveness.

Posts by other writers: Five Gifts of Being Highly Sensitive, The Gift of Emotional Sensitivity.

9 thoughts on “You’re So Sensitive

  1. mentalhealthtalk

    I too am highly (actually hyper since trauma) sensitive and SO appreciate Cheryl Richardson’s approach. She gives me the permission I need to say “I’m taking care of myself right now so I can be the best person I can be” .

    Another resource you might find helpful (have I given this to you before or am I have a deja vu moment???) is I worked with Ane one-on-one and she empowered me in a big way, but her blog posts and spiritual Sundays live sessions are value-packed for HSPs.

    Your sister in sensitivity,

    1. rachelmiller1511 Post author

      Thanks for the link- that’s great! It’s good that people are recognising sensitivity as a quality rather than a problem.

      Having one on one sessions with this lady must have been a really good experience.

      I think I only find sensitivity an issue when I work other people. Don’t get me wrong I’m actually a real people person- but if I can’t get enough alone time I’m not a pretty sight!!

      Good to know there are other HSPs out there too!


  2. Nicola

    Hi Rachel,

    I have recently been introduced to your blog from my friend Jen, and i hope that you dont mind but i have shared some of your posts on my facebook page as i am in a group called the elephant in the room run by mind for people with mental health issues and i thought that these would be very helpful. Re the above blog on sensitivity…wow…you must be reading quite a lot of our minds.

  3. Nicola

    I was medically retired last year – ironically as a mental health nurse and i have been told by a couple of managers that i was too sensitive but hey i would rather have a heart and care about others than a heart of stone like some people that i had the misfortune to work with. I have also rid myself of the toxic people that used to occupy my life and try and surround myself with things and people that i love. Keep on blogging…you make a real, worthwhile difference to my and i am sure others mental health. Love Nicola xxx

  4. rachelmiller1511 Post author

    Hi Nicola,

    Thank you so much for your lovely comments! Hearing that I might make some tiny difference to another person’s life is just the best reward I could ever get- thank you so much, I’m touched.

    It’s so great that you’ve been introduced by Jen- did you work together as mental health nurses?! It would be really interesting to hear about your side of things- rather than from the patients’ perspective. Must be a very difficult job.

    Re the post on sensitivity: glad that I’m not the only one! Sometimes it feels like there’s no one else around me that feels like this. But since I started blogging I realised I wasn’t looking in the right places! 🙂 I think the sensitivity trait makes the “world”, as non-sensitives run it, seem very strange and sometimes cruel. I described it to another blogger as being allergic to life! Everything sets off a reaction!

    I’m so glad to hear from you, and that you have shared my posts on Facebook- that’s terrific. Please feel free to look me up on Facebook and friend me- although I gather there are rather a lot of Rachel Miller’s out there! Will stop by and have a look at Elephant in the Room.

    Thanks so much for reading and commenting- hope you and Jen will be regulars!!


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