Well, as discussed earlier today I am now screaming my head off to Alanis Morrisette (yes, while I’m writing, I’m a master of multi-tasking)- my angry music. Very therapeutic. After said screaming and writing, Chris will be introducing me to a film called Dark Blood (or something like that) which sooo doesn’t sound like my kind of film- zombies/blood/death- toll of 30 within the first five minutes (Chris’s pre-requisite before he will sit down and watch a film). But, you know, quality time and all that.
Anyway, tomorrow I will make my second attempt at getting to our new choir venue.
I love choir, it brightens my week. We’re working on some great songs and the others make me laugh. But last time I had a panic attack, which started when I got off the bus. I began panicking that I wouldn’t be able to find the new venue. I was really, really tired and it was really hot out. I felt I couldn’t breathe and just wasn’t gonna have the energy to get there- about 10minute walk, that’s all.
I then started worrying about my legs collapsing beneath me and that I’d just end up sitting on the pavement in a bit of a stupor. Don’t panic Rachel, DON’T PANIC!!!! It’s only a little walk, you shouldn’t be getting so worked up! It’s just fight or flight, it’s completely natural. Oh bollocks to CBT!- Arghhhhh!!!!
My head went all spinny and I couldn’t focus. I felt like I was gonna die in the middle of the street, which would be so embarrassing, right?!
I phoned Chris- help me, help me, HELP ME!!! He calmed me down enough to talk me onto the next bus home. Bloody hell, talk about high-maintenance girlfriend!
I’m dreading the journey tomorrow. Just have to keep my mind on what’s there when I arrive. Tra-la-la-dee-dah…..
Well, off to watch zombies’ heads being blown off. Fun….