Yesterday I had a bit of a psychological revelation- I realised how much I’ve been obsessing about my relationship- and probably life in general!
I’ve always thought I’ve been “helping” Chris by giving “advice” but now I realise I’ve been trying to control the poor boy all along! I can’t believe I never saw it before. I thought that the more we “work” on our relationship, the more we’ll grow. But my idea of “work” has really been about control. It’s been staring me in the face really!
I try to “fix” things all the time and look at our relationship under a microscope. It’s so much pressure and stress on both of us.
Reckon I might have some Hypomania Prodromal Symptoms going on here:
– Increase in obsessive thoughts about our relationship- thoughts that go round and round and aren’t really productive. Lots of Mind Buzz in general.
– I’ve also been sleeping only 6-7 hours a night on and off, whereas I usually need about 9-10.
– Feeling that intense pressure to do, do DO things and just can’t relax.
– I just don’t seem to be able to let go and relax!! I can feel all the tension in my muscles. I keep getting headaches too.
– And it’s getting harder and harder to drag myself away from the computer.
I seriously need to chill out!!
I don’t even have anything stressful going on in my life at the moment- yippee!- so no obvious trigger, Though looking back, my sleeping patterns changed when the clocks went back a couple of weeks ago (I’m in UK), so I guess that could be the trigger.
So to focus on the solution I would like to:
– surrender control to spirit/source/the universe/God.
– accept when I can’t change things.
– focus my energy on the present and how I would like to be.
Link between Bipolar and OCD
I’ve never really thought of myself as having OCD as I do not have the classic compulsion symptoms like hand-washing, checking, etc. But recently I have noticed more and more that I am very obsessive in my thinking. I’m always monitoring my thoughts for any “dangerous” thoughts, like thinking someone might get run over and then worrying that because I thought it, it might happen.
Coincidently I was looking up information about the remedy Vervain which was recommended, which can be found here. It mentions the manic state and obsessive compulsive disorder together, which I thought was interesting.
I also found an interesting article on OCD and Bipolar. Apparently 15-20% of those with Bipolar also have OCD. They also talk about OCD as a separate condition to Bipolar, but that some people may not have OCD, but have OCD-type symptoms as part of their Bipolar moods.
All very interesting. Now I’m getting obsessive about research- ARGHHHHH!!
Is There Such a Thing as Bipolar OCD Disorder?– Psychology Today.
I Hate Daylight Saving Time– bphope.
Bach Flower Remedies– My Bipolar Life
Photo Credit: debspoons via freedigitalphotos.net.