It’s so hard to put in words how I feel at the moment. To all who interact with me regularly, I probably seem like I’m fine, maybe a bit more sociable and excitable than usual, but that there is nothing amiss.
But inside, my thoughts are racing and it’s like everything I come across in my life at present is 10 times bigger, 10 times more fun, 10 times more exciting, 10 times more fascinating, 10 times more beautiful, 10 times louder, 10 times more powerful!!! No wonder I’m so distracted!
This may sound like a lot of fun, which it can be! But I know I can switch to anger and agitation in a split second.
I just don’t feel like myself!
I can’t stop DOING! I want to do do, do! Have more, more, more! Talk LOUDER! Not stop talking! Everybody else seems so slow!!
I can’t be too hypomanic though- I’m totally aware of what’s going on. I think?!
My sleeping has been totally weird and not always what you’d expect from hypomania. I’ve had the more standard night of 4 hours sleep, and most nights I’m still buzzing with energy at 2am, despite not having been out or doing much; but I’ve also had long, blissful sleeps- the best sleep I’ve had in ages. I haven’t wanted any of my afternoon 2 hour naps that have been standard fair for me over the last 10 years.
But I can’t quite connect with myself. Everything seems to be distracting me from what I’m really feeling, or what is really going on inside me- perhaps all the memories I’m tapping into at counselling.
Be interesting to see what happens over the next week or so!