The Law of Attraction
I haven’t been entirely honest with myself.
Sometimes I feel lost in trying to “be good”. I guess this stems from being brought up in religious family and in a Catholic school.
I try to be so positive. The law of attraction makes me scared to think negatively or feel negative feelings.
The law of attraction basically theorizes that we attract into our lives what we focus on. If we’re feeling happy and positive, we attract experiences which will make us feel more happiness and positivity. Obviously the reverse is true for negative thoughts and feelings- we’ll attract experiences which create more of the same.
I feel a lot of fear around this, which I know is going to attract more! But I’ve really been denying it and lying to myself- trying to make myself feel positive with sheer will-power. The trouble with this is I’m not really dealing with what’s truthfully going on for me and I am perhaps missing important messages in my feelings.
Negative Emotions as a Positive Experience
Emotions are ways in which we can guide ourselves in life. Just because we think something “negative” maybe it doesn’t have to be a “negative” thing.
Maybe it’s really a gift.
Maybe it’s a message to change something in life- like a thought pattern. Maybe I’m treating myself more harshly than I’ve realised by trying to be “good”.
I’ll never be able to change my thought patterns and beliefs if I suppress what I really feel.
I’m such a perfectionist sometimes and don’t like to admit my human-ness. Will God abandon me for feeling negative? I know He/She wont, but sometimes I return to my old, fearful view of God that I was brought up with.
Ultimately it is us ourselves who judge thoughts and emotions as negative experiences.
Screwed-up and Terrified
Anyway- the reality is: I feel scared of everything at the moment. I feel insecure, I feel devastatingly screwed up and inadequate, and generally terrified of life and other people’s judgements. Criticism and disapproval literally kill part of my soul- I just want to run away from them. Too much bullying in the past.
Now that I’ve admitted the truth maybe I can go about gently questioning my fears and building my confidence up again.
Fantasy World & Escapism
Does anyone else just zone out and live in a fantasy world? I escape reality in my mind, to a place I feel safe. It’s kind of a childlike fantasy world where everyone loves each other. I just want to feel safe and secure, not so bloody scared of everything.
Life really terrifies me.
And today, that’s my truth.
Having just written this, the message I’m intuitively being given is to lighten up and stop taking myself so seriously.
I need to have fun and see the humour in situations, which will lighten the feeling.
Fun and laughter are my medicine and prescription from the angels!!
It is natural to slip back into old ways and old programming, even after we’ve begun to change our thinking habits and beliefs. I need to stop being so tough on myself!! I will get back on track again. They’re telling me to ride the wave and just go with- not to fight it!!