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Fear, and Steven Spielberg.

ID-10035460I’ve been doing way too much thinking recently- probably worrying more like! It strikes me how small my world is- I’ve let it shrink because I’ve been afraid. There are things I’ve legitimately let go of because they just didn’t work in my life, but there are also things I’ve given up on because they were scary and uncomfortable, even though I could see my world becoming more colourful and, well….bigger!

Spiritual Development Group: A Legitimate Letting Go?

For example, at the beginning of the year I began a Spiritual Development Group in my home. In total I had 3 people join. This was as I was expecting as there is not much call for these kind of groups- they’re pretty specialist. During the group sessions, I taught a bit about chakras and some of the meditation techniques, then we’d do a relaxation and practice the meditation techniques. After that we might do oracle readings for each other, or I’d teach more about Bach Flower Remedies or Crystals.

I really did enjoy the teaching part.

What I didn’t enjoy was the organisation and anxiety. I never knew who and how many people were coming, and for someone who is a little bit of a control freak, this was a little bit scary. I worried that one person might turn up and I’d have to do a one on one session for the small group price (one on one can be intense), or that they’d be two, and that wouldn’t really be enough. I’d only really be happy if there were 3-5 members there. I didn’t like people missing any teaching as I’d have to go over it next time. That was annoying. Then I worried that I wasn’t good enough, that I was a fraud. I worried that someone would attribute any poor health that came their way to my sessions, and then sue me. I worried that other people thought I was weird and that they were laughing at me behind my back.

I one of the group members challenging- her energy was very strong and I felt uncomfortable around her,

I basically worried and worried. Then that worrying blocked my connection with Spirit- I wasn’t trusting Spirit, or hearing what I needed to know for the classes. Then I worried about this! It would have gone on forever.

I cancelled the group. I was spending so much time worrying that I lost faith in myself and also questioned my enjoyment and whether or not it was the right thing for me to be doing at this time.

Did I legitimately cancel the group? I think so. It really wasn’t working for me and it didn’t feel quite right. Maybe it just wasn’t the right time. I didn’t feel a love for it.

ID-10061849Teaching Music

At around the same time, I also stepped out of my comfort zone to teach flute. A teacher who was moving away had recommended me as a suitable replacement for her to a few of her pupils.

Of course I worried about this too! I questioned my skills as a flautist, and whether I’d get on with the pupil. I’d never taught flute before! I felt more confident about my teaching skills as I think I’ve been building these up over the years. I really do enjoy teaching.

Anyway- I loved it! My pupil was wonderful too and we’ve had a successful 9 months together so far.

But I still get a bit scared! Every time we have a lesson I’ll be a bit nervous beforehand. It’s still a bit scary. But I love it, so I push through! I think the fear is of the unknown, and how the lesson will progress, or fear that I’ll somehow mess up. The unknown isn’t controllable or certain. It’s about trusting the process, trusting my skills, trusting my pupil, and trusting Spirit.

ID-1007068Spielberg.

It was Steven Spielberg who got me thinking about this today, or rather an interview with him on the documentary ‘Spielberg’.

He was talking about how he still felt anxious before he went to shoot a scene with a room full of actors and crew. He didn’t know how the shoot would go, or what problems he’d encounter and how he’d solve them.

I couldn’t believe this!! Hollywood mega-giant Steven Spielberg felt frightened initially when going on set to shoot a new scene! He’s a directing genius, a directing god!! How on earth could he possibly be frightened!! Wow!!

He went on to say that he liked this fear- it was a good fear. He said if he felt comfortable and confident about what he was shooting then he didn’t strive to go that extra distance, or put in that extra bit of energy. He tried harder. He said he produced his best work when he felt this fear, even panic! It was like he had made friends with it. He loved what he was doing so much that he pushed through. He trusted Spirit/the Universe. He trusted himself and his crew. He trusted that his fear was going to help him as, of course, it did and still does.

A Bigger World!

Steven Spielberg’s world gets bigger every time he trusts and creates. My world has gotten pretty small and I want to expand it! I want to trust and to believe and to be brave. I want to create a more magical world for myself- one where I create everyday, and bring out the world that is inside me- bring out the heaven in my mind and give it life on earth.

I am learning to trust, and I am learning to be brave.

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My Magical World

 

 

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Grenfell Tower: A Shaken Faith

On Wednesday the UK was shaken by it’s fourth major tragedy this year. We’ve had two terrorist attacks in London, one in Manchester, and now the Grenfell Tower fire in London, which looks like it will have claimed the lives of more than the previous three events combined.

Today I posted on Facebook:

” The difference in the response on my Facebook feed to the Grenfell Tower disaster compared with the recent terrorist attacks is huge. It is so much easier for us to blame tragedy on a group full of hate for us, than our own government and systems. Is our unity in grief only restricted to white people? Really, in 2017? It is highly likely the death toll from Grenfell Tower will exceed 60, according to the press. This is greater than the number of those killed in all three terrorist attacks in Britain so far this year. The people of Grenfell tower are British citizens too. They are human too. They feel the same suffering. It is events like this that shake my faith, but I know all I can do is pray for those whose lives have been shaken to the core. I hope that the voice given to the people of Grenfell Tower will finally be listened to, and that this will be the start of greater equality in the UK. We are all one people.”

What I wrote doesn’t really compare with the anger I feel inside, that this kind of thing can even happen.

I am usually all about finding the grace and love of God in all things. But this tragedy has shaken my faith. I feel so angry with God. Why did You let this happen? Something so horrific. The terror and pain these people endured is more than I can bare thinking about. Why weren’t You there? Why didn’t You stop it?

Most of the books I read on spiritual topics describe the angels if God as unable to intervene in our lives unless we ask them too, or a fixed plan made before we incarnated has been predetermined and must not be altered.

I do believe this, but it is so far removed from the suffering endured- it is difficult to integrate. The angels can see, God can see.

I can only hope that those killed or badly injured passed out very quickly, so as not to feel pain, and that those who have crossed over are given as much help as possible by God and the angels to heal.

I don’t understand. I’ll probably never understand and my analytical brain doesn’t like that. But I have to let this go, or it will eat me up inside.

Dear God,

Thank you for surrounding those affected by the Grenfell Tower fire in love and light. Thank you for the abundant healing and aid. Thank you for the fantastic emergency services in this country who help save lives.

Thank you for helping our country become more unified, and equality among the rich and poor, and those of different faiths and nations, be vastly improved. Thank you that good may come from this.

Thank you for helping me to be at peace. Thank you for helping anybody else effected be at peace.

Thank you for loving me in my anger with You. Thank you for Your endless patience and compassion.

Amen.

 

10 Lies Depression Tells You

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10 Lies Depression Tells You

1. You’re not good enough: at anything.

2. You’ve failed: at everything.

3. You’re a burden on your family/partner: they’d be better off without you.

4. You don’t deserve such a great partner.

5. You don’t deserve all the good things that have been given to you- they’ll be taken away from you.

6. God doesn’t care about you- he’s given up on you.

7. There’s nothing in your future to look forward to.

8. You’ll always fail.

9. You might as well give up.

10. It’s Your Fault You’re Depressed: you’ve done all the CBT, mindfulness, counselling, etc. You should be free from depression by now. It must be you- you’re bad.

They are lies! They are not truth! We can change our thoughts!

Related Posts

Changing the Mind-Programming

Exploring Negative Thoughts

10 Ideas to Distract Depression: Don’t Feed The Monster!

Depression SOS: Bach Flower Remedies

Depression & Grounding

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bach Flower Remedies: Stabilising Your Mood

The Light Sanctuary

Bach Flower Remedies have helped me a lot with stabilising my mood, as a supplement to my regular medication.

You can find out more about Bach Flower Remedies on my sister website, Emotional Wellness, here:

https://rachelmiller1511.wordpress.co…

Glenyss Bourne’s artwork can be found here: http://www.anaheart.com/

Doreen Virtue’s website: http://www.angeltherapy.com/

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Staying Grounded at Christmas

From sister-site: The Light Sanctuary (see link at top of site).

The Light Sanctuary

79583_regentropfen_kapuzinerkresse

The energies of the planet are currently very high. If you are highly sensitive to these energies they can throw you off balance very easily.

The energies are high? What does that mean?

Everything is made of energy.

This energy can vibrate at different rates.

Low vibrational energy is associated with more “negative” feelings and thoughts, places, people, creations- music, art, etc.

High vibrational energy is associated with more “positive thoughts, feelings, places and people, creations- music, art.

Then there are the extremes- the highest vibrational energies are those of the realms of the angels and ascended masters, as well as highly evolved planets.

Earth is currently going through strong energetic shifts to raise the vibration of the planets from the third dimension to the fifth dimension. This is another topic in itself.

For this to happen waves of very high vibrational energy are sent to Earth.

That all sounds…

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