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Grenfell Tower: A Shaken Faith

On Wednesday the UK was shaken by it’s fourth major tragedy this year. We’ve had two terrorist attacks in London, one in Manchester, and now the Grenfell Tower fire in London, which looks like it will have claimed the lives of more than the previous three events combined.

Today I posted on Facebook:

” The difference in the response on my Facebook feed to the Grenfell Tower disaster compared with the recent terrorist attacks is huge. It is so much easier for us to blame tragedy on a group full of hate for us, than our own government and systems. Is our unity in grief only restricted to white people? Really, in 2017? It is highly likely the death toll from Grenfell Tower will exceed 60, according to the press. This is greater than the number of those killed in all three terrorist attacks in Britain so far this year. The people of Grenfell tower are British citizens too. They are human too. They feel the same suffering. It is events like this that shake my faith, but I know all I can do is pray for those whose lives have been shaken to the core. I hope that the voice given to the people of Grenfell Tower will finally be listened to, and that this will be the start of greater equality in the UK. We are all one people.”

What I wrote doesn’t really compare with the anger I feel inside, that this kind of thing can even happen.

I am usually all about finding the grace and love of God in all things. But this tragedy has shaken my faith. I feel so angry with God. Why did You let this happen? Something so horrific. The terror and pain these people endured is more than I can bare thinking about. Why weren’t You there? Why didn’t You stop it?

Most of the books I read on spiritual topics describe the angels if God as unable to intervene in our lives unless we ask them too, or a fixed plan made before we incarnated has been predetermined and must not be altered.

I do believe this, but it is so far removed from the suffering endured- it is difficult to integrate. The angels can see, God can see.

I can only hope that those killed or badly injured passed out very quickly, so as not to feel pain, and that those who have crossed over are given as much help as possible by God and the angels to heal.

I don’t understand. I’ll probably never understand and my analytical brain doesn’t like that. But I have to let this go, or it will eat me up inside.

Dear God,

Thank you for surrounding those affected by the Grenfell Tower fire in love and light. Thank you for the abundant healing and aid. Thank you for the fantastic emergency services in this country who help save lives.

Thank you for helping our country become more unified, and equality among the rich and poor, and those of different faiths and nations, be vastly improved. Thank you that good may come from this.

Thank you for helping me to be at peace. Thank you for helping anybody else effected be at peace.

Thank you for loving me in my anger with You. Thank you for Your endless patience and compassion.

Amen.

 

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10 Lies Depression Tells You

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10 Lies Depression Tells You

1. You’re not good enough: at anything.

2. You’ve failed: at everything.

3. You’re a burden on your family/partner: they’d be better off without you.

4. You don’t deserve such a great partner.

5. You don’t deserve all the good things that have been given to you- they’ll be taken away from you.

6. God doesn’t care about you- he’s given up on you.

7. There’s nothing in your future to look forward to.

8. You’ll always fail.

9. You might as well give up.

10. It’s Your Fault You’re Depressed: you’ve done all the CBT, mindfulness, counselling, etc. You should be free from depression by now. It must be you- you’re bad.

They are lies! They are not truth! We can change our thoughts!

Related Posts

Changing the Mind-Programming

Exploring Negative Thoughts

10 Ideas to Distract Depression: Don’t Feed The Monster!

Depression SOS: Bach Flower Remedies

Depression & Grounding

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bach Flower Remedies: Stabilising Your Mood

The Light Sanctuary

Bach Flower Remedies have helped me a lot with stabilising my mood, as a supplement to my regular medication.

You can find out more about Bach Flower Remedies on my sister website, Emotional Wellness, here:

https://rachelmiller1511.wordpress.co…

Glenyss Bourne’s artwork can be found here: http://www.anaheart.com/

Doreen Virtue’s website: http://www.angeltherapy.com/

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Staying Grounded at Christmas

From sister-site: The Light Sanctuary (see link at top of site).

The Light Sanctuary

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The energies of the planet are currently very high. If you are highly sensitive to these energies they can throw you off balance very easily.

The energies are high? What does that mean?

Everything is made of energy.

This energy can vibrate at different rates.

Low vibrational energy is associated with more “negative” feelings and thoughts, places, people, creations- music, art, etc.

High vibrational energy is associated with more “positive thoughts, feelings, places and people, creations- music, art.

Then there are the extremes- the highest vibrational energies are those of the realms of the angels and ascended masters, as well as highly evolved planets.

Earth is currently going through strong energetic shifts to raise the vibration of the planets from the third dimension to the fifth dimension. This is another topic in itself.

For this to happen waves of very high vibrational energy are sent to Earth.

That all sounds…

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Highly Intuitive People

Highly Intuitive People- CoverMy mind feels almost as slow as my body today, but I still managed to get some interesting reading done: Highly Intuitive People by Heidi Sawyer, which I feel I really relate to.

I think those of us who are highly intuitive-sensitive types are probably more prone to bipolar disorder symptoms. (Please see my guest post for Mental Health Talk: Bipolar Disorder and High Sensitivity for more on this topic).

Jiva

The chapter “Cope With Others and Their Power Struggles” has some interesting thoughts about how we use our energy.

Sawyer talks about us having an aura, the energetic carrier of all that we are as a human soul- our Jiva (sanskrit word for the immortal essence of a living thing).

As our true essence, Jiva can be weak or strong depending on how much we are in connection to our true selves/our own identity. It builds confidence and self-esteem.

Building Jiva increases our emotional strength and healing capacity- surely a strong tool in coping with bipolar disorder or mental dis-ease of any kind.

We can strengthen Jiva by releasing negativity and anything else that drains us energetically. We can do the things we truly love, which light us up and connect us with who we truly are.

By strengthening our Jiva, we have a stronger sense of self, of our own identity, and need less the approval of others. We are less likely to take on others’ cares and worries on an energetic level to please them or make them ‘feel better’. We are also less likely to be rocked by criticism and disapproval in general. We approve of ourselves and that’s all we need.

59267cezgcextwlThe Need to Please Others- Narcissistic Families

Many of us may feel we have to please others (see People-Pleasing), and pressure ourselves into adjusting our behaviour to feel we are approved of by whoever we are with.

This is how we’ve been taught to behave throughout our childhood, often within a narcissistic family. We learn to walk on eggshells and keep the peace- this became our identity, a strong part of which was to ignore and neglect our own needs. Survival of the family- which is inherently damaged through various traumas- becomes priority, even over being true to ourselves and our own identity.

Our Jiva has become weak through our developmental stages. We let people walk all over us, give too much energy to others, make others more important than ourselves- this is how we have learnt to survive. It is not our fault.

ID-10046699Creating a Happy Life

But we can change things. We can have a happier life where we feel in control of what is happening to us, of how our life pans out. We’ve been taught that we aren’t worthy of a happy life. But we are!

We can create our own life! We don’t need the approval of others’, it is safe for us now to be our true selves.

We lived in a family system where the only means of survival was to submit our identities to become what our parents’ wanted us to be. We could not have emotions or needs- because they were too inconvenient to our parents, or caused significant anxiety. We could be emotional caretakers and counsellors, best friends, even to some extent surrogate spouses. We gave up our energy, our true selves. We did it to survive. (Because as a small child, it really is about survival- who will take care of your needs if you are abandoned by your family?)

We don’t need to do this anymore.

MoonThe Terror of Being Our True Selves

You’d think it would be easy to overcome this- once we realise it is safe to live the life we want to create. But I’ve found many challenges already- mainly fears of stepping away from the safety of the identity I was given.

To me it feels terrifying to identify and take care of my needs- it goes against everything I was taught, everything that is my current identity, everything that has helped me to survive a narcissistic family system. It sounds silly, but I still feel extremely anxious if I sit down and draw- “I’m being too selfish”, “I should be spending my time helping other people”, “it’s a childish pastime”.

Releasing these beliefs that have kept me alive within my family is terrifying! We still have that belief deeply ingrained that we must be that which we’ve been moulded into, in order to survive.

But it’s worth it!

When we can do the things in life that light us up- for me drawing, writing, painting, walking in nature, taking care of myself nutritionally, being with my loved ones and my dog- we strengthen our jiva. We are doing things that make us happy!

Strong Jiva will keep us energised. We will not feel the need to give others our time and energy. We will not be manipulated by others. We can identify our own needs and put ourselves first. Our health will improve.

ID-10095922In relation to bipolar disorder.

So part of me wonders if my current downward swing into very low energy is because I’ve been giving too much energy to others, denying myself who I truly am, and denying my emotions. I haven’t been taking care of my needs. I think this is very likely the case and perhaps is the pattern of bipolar disorder as a set of symptoms?

We find our creativity, our true self, become highly energised by this- perhaps to a hypomanic/manic state. We enter a frenzy of creativity/spirituality/ideas, but deny anything that may be anxiety-provoking. We keep busy-busy-busy to push any fears that arise as far away as possible. The upward spiral continues. But this is exhausting and the inevitable energy slump hits hard. We then experience all the emotions we were denying- guilt, shame, fear, and become deeply depressed. We have betrayed our ‘false self’ which kept us alive. This feels devastating at a soul level.

It’s just a theory- but it makes some sense to me at the moment, and I think it could be a part of helping me to understand how I can improve things for myself.

 

Related Articles

People- Pleasing 

Bipolar Disorder and Highly Sensitive People– Guest post on Mental Health Talk.

Bipolar Disorder as Spiritual Awakening

Absorbing Others’ Energy

The Narcissistic Family

Was Part of Your Childhood Deprived by Emotional Incest?

Confessions of an Ex-Narcissist

Book: Highly Intuitive People by Heidi Sawyer