Making Friends with Fear

Last night my husband and I went food shopping at the local supermarket. As expected, the shelves were very empty and I found myself taken aback by a wave of fear and panic that hit me like a tonne of bricks.

I knew this fear was not just my own, but the lingering energy of the hundreds of people who had walked in the doors over the last 24 hours or so, shocked, and some even quite terrified to see, for the first time, the effects of coronavirus in our rural town. The collective fear felt more foreign to me, like lots of voices and thoughts all chattering at once:

“what will I do if I can’t get milk, or tea, or toilet rolls?”

I know it sounds superficial when you consider that people are in serious pain with the virus, or have lost loved ones, but it is a very real fear to have your sense of security and safety tugged out from beneath your feet. We live in our own little bubble of the routine and security of an efficiently functioning society, so any disruption to that is bound to feel jarring.

If like me you have felt this cloud of fear when out shopping, or at home with the media flowing through your mind, then it is a good time to just acknowledge it is there.

My natural reaction to any uncomfortable emotion is to try and suppress or deny it. Distraction plays a part, but too often I’ll turn to obsessive or compulsive behaviour.

Today I felt a connection with my guides and angels as I finally stopped to feel this fear. I realised that I have been so scared to feel it, or any uncomfortable emotion, that I’ve desperately been pushing against it in resistance. But the wisdom they gave was to allow it. Allow the fear to be with you. Allow the fear to rest in your body and around you. Feel it in your body. Where do you feel it. Don’t try and change it. Let it be there. Is your stomach tight? Your shoulders tense? Your jaw clenched? Feel into the body. Be an investigator! Ask your body what it needs. Ask your spirit what it needs. Listen to your intuition and trust it. Talk to the fear- what is there that is so scary?

The more we spend time getting to know what we are feeling, the less frightening the fear will seem. We can send love to ourselves, give ourselves a big hug.

It is ok to feel fear.
We are not bad or weak or cowards for feeling fear.
It is all ok in this moment.

Ask that any fear that does not belong to you be cleared from your body and energy field. We help nobody by taking on this burden, particularly as it is so easy for Spirit to help us clear this- just ask! We are worthy of their help. Every single one of us.

Surrendering our feelings helps so much.
If we don’t know how to release fear, that is ok. Love yourself anyway.
Whatever you are feeling- tell yourself it is ok and that you are worthy of love. You are love.
Surrender any feelings of not knowing. Release into the uncertainty.

As I walked the dog this morning I noticed how “normal” everything felt out in nature. I didn’t feel a fearful vibration. The birds were chirping and carrying on about their daily business as usual, and I found this very comforting. If you are sensitive, I highly recommend spending some time in nature every day, even just to feel the normality of birds singing their joyful song, or flowers unfolding their petals in perfect timing with natures rhythm. Nature trusts in the universe. That everything is ok.

It is in our society where the fear is accumulating- our unnatural society of consumption and power and gain. In nature the earth is breathing a sigh of relief as pollution levels decrease significantly due to coronavirus. There is a natural healing process taking place. Everything is ok. Trust in the process.


Resources

These posts are all on my sister-site The Light Sanctuary, where I delve deeper into spirituality:

Divine Light Meditation– clear energetic vibrations of fear from your body and energetic field.

Sensitivity to World Events

Sensing Light Out Into The World

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A World Changed- What do We Need to Do?

Whether or not you are particularly spiritual, oracle cards can be a fun focus for personal development, and more often than not you’ll find yourself pulling out cards randomly and finding that they relate accurately to issues that are currently at play in your life. Many cards come with little books that offer interpretations, but you’ll likely find ideas present themselves to you as you think about the card, or journal out your thoughts.

Like the rest of the world, I’ve recently been drawn in to the media to keep up to date with the latest COVID-19 developments. This morning I really wanted to get my cards out and connect with Spirit to find out why the virus is happening, and how I can help.

There was me expecting that I could offer channeled wisdom for the collective, when Spirit firmly put me in my place with a wink and a nudge, and all the cards strongly suggested to retreat, be alone, connect with Spirit, and focus on my health. I practically laughed out loud, as my grand thoughts were so way off base! I love that our guides and angels can make us laugh at ourselves, they can be so playful.

“Turn off the TV.
Turn off the internet.
Remember what I love.
Remember who I am.
Go and play the flute and piano, and sing, and spend time with my husband and dog.
Get in touch with myself through journalling and meditating.
Go get the paints out.
Have fun.”

This is a prime time to remember what is important to us. The majority of us at the moment are waiting for the uncertainty to unfold. It is easy to be gripped by fear and glued to the news. ( I, for one, can get very obsessive and my own mental health can easily start to spiral out of control).

The message is to go within, and to focus on our own little worlds. We have power here to affect change through our attitudes and hearts. Yes, we have some power! We don’t have to let ourselves feel so powerless. Little deeds of love lift vibrations in our little worlds. Little deeds of love include loving ourselves as much as anyone else and cultivating the things we love in our lives- for me this is music, art and spiritual development, as well as the more obvious relationships. If we take care of ourselves, we are in a much better condition to help others with our hearts wide open. Helping from a place of fatigue and with a closed heart is not really helping to uplift the vibration- as well as feeling bad ourselves, those who we are “helping” can sense this and easily feel guilty and that they are being a burden. Not very helpful for the collective vibration.

My own feelings are that the economy and world leadership are going to change considerably.

Our lives are going to be led less by consumerism, individual success, and power, and more by communities and family life. We will all be reminded of how rich our lives truly are, and that we have so much to share with other people.

There will be much more focus on wholeness, and oneness. I think this is why we are being brought back to ourselves. Being whole starts with each one of us individually. When we are healing from past traumas, events, relationships, abuse, disappointments, or losses, the fractured parts of our soul are being brought back together and making peace with each other. We are forgiving ourselves, learning to love ourselves. Wholeness starts within each of our hearts- with unconditional love for ourselves. This time is one of great opportunity to heal our own soul. A world full of healed hearts is a place of peace, not one of war. There will always be challenges for we need them to grow, but this is a chance to step forward into the light, up one rung of the ladder towards a more peaceful, harmonious world.

Already we are being reminded of our oneness- every continent is being affected by the same virus, by the same problems. We are all together in this and for the first time I can remember, it feels as if the world is joined by one thing. Let it be that this virus does not destroy us, but helps our hearts grow in light, for love is not a fluffy emotion, but the strongest, most powerful force we can imagine.

Earth Angels

Highly Sensitive readers! Are you an Earth Angel? Earth Angels frequently feel like they don’t belong on Earth, and are very sensitive to energies. Other traits are talked about in the video, as well as types of Earth Angel.

Grenfell Tower: A Shaken Faith

On Wednesday the UK was shaken by it’s fourth major tragedy this year. We’ve had two terrorist attacks in London, one in Manchester, and now the Grenfell Tower fire in London, which looks like it will have claimed the lives of more than the previous three events combined.

Today I posted on Facebook:

” The difference in the response on my Facebook feed to the Grenfell Tower disaster compared with the recent terrorist attacks is huge. It is so much easier for us to blame tragedy on a group full of hate for us, than our own government and systems. Is our unity in grief only restricted to white people? Really, in 2017? It is highly likely the death toll from Grenfell Tower will exceed 60, according to the press. This is greater than the number of those killed in all three terrorist attacks in Britain so far this year. The people of Grenfell tower are British citizens too. They are human too. They feel the same suffering. It is events like this that shake my faith, but I know all I can do is pray for those whose lives have been shaken to the core. I hope that the voice given to the people of Grenfell Tower will finally be listened to, and that this will be the start of greater equality in the UK. We are all one people.”

What I wrote doesn’t really compare with the anger I feel inside, that this kind of thing can even happen.

I am usually all about finding the grace and love of God in all things. But this tragedy has shaken my faith. I feel so angry with God. Why did You let this happen? Something so horrific. The terror and pain these people endured is more than I can bare thinking about. Why weren’t You there? Why didn’t You stop it?

Most of the books I read on spiritual topics describe the angels if God as unable to intervene in our lives unless we ask them too, or a fixed plan made before we incarnated has been predetermined and must not be altered.

I do believe this, but it is so far removed from the suffering endured- it is difficult to integrate. The angels can see, God can see.

I can only hope that those killed or badly injured passed out very quickly, so as not to feel pain, and that those who have crossed over are given as much help as possible by God and the angels to heal.

I don’t understand. I’ll probably never understand and my analytical brain doesn’t like that. But I have to let this go, or it will eat me up inside.

Dear God,

Thank you for surrounding those affected by the Grenfell Tower fire in love and light. Thank you for the abundant healing and aid. Thank you for the fantastic emergency services in this country who help save lives.

Thank you for helping our country become more unified, and equality among the rich and poor, and those of different faiths and nations, be vastly improved. Thank you that good may come from this.

Thank you for helping me to be at peace. Thank you for helping anybody else effected be at peace.

Thank you for loving me in my anger with You. Thank you for Your endless patience and compassion.

Amen.

 

Down in the Dumps: Recognizing Unhelpful Thought Patterns

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Binge Eating: Help from the Angels

After a binge, I felt I needed a little help from the angels- so here is the meditation they gave me to share with you. Thank you angels!

 

Hello World!

 

Please sign up for Emerging Proud: Coming Out of the Spiritual Closet.

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I Am Angry and It’s Okay.

I may have written about this before as it is an issue that pops up frequently for me.

How can I be angry when I’ve been programmed to believe my anger is wrong and shameful and should be hidden? I feel so guilty for my anger, I feel utterly responsible. Overly responsible.

Experiencing Anger as a Child and Teen.

My parents couldn’t cope with my sister and I being angry when we were kids. It was a surefire way of getting shouted at and potentially sent to our rooms, or left in whatever outdoor place we were currently visiting. Fear of abandonment definitely is a block to me expressing my anger healthily and experiencing it as a normal human emotion that it is safe to feel.

We were brought up in a strict Christian environment, both at home and school, and anger was seen as ingratitude and unholy. So this is what became programmed into my trusting childhood psyche. As a child you don’t question, you believe whatever is fed to your mind by adults.

We were never supported or shown how to deal with such a strong emotion, and my own adult experience of anger has been that of a raging toddler in a few isolated incidents. My anger can be intensely fire-y and scares me.

We were always made to apologize even if we had been justified in our anger. This was a pattern that occurred all through childhood and my teenage years.

I wasn’t an angry teenager at all, but I think that’s because I learnt to hide it, and generally expressed it by going to my room and silently balling my eyes out. I felt so ashamed and worthless and the anger became directed at myself and developed into a deep hatred of myself and my (perceived) lack of control over my emotions.

My Present Anger & Binge Eating Recovery

Right this second I feel anger for something the sweetest, gentlest, most kind and caring person has done. It would seem a somewhat small thing to others, but to me it is a big deal and I have to remember to support myself in that.

I’m scared of hurting this person’s feelings and of being abandoned by them.

I have a right to be angry.

It is safe to own my anger and really feel it.

There is nothing wrong or sinister about my anger, it is safe and I am in control of it.

Learning to allow myself to feel unpleasant feelings is something I’m working on and has been a key aspect of my counselling for binge eating.

Instead of stuffing these emotions down with food, I’m writing about them.

In fact my mind hasn’t even turned to food this morning in order to stuff the emotions down, which is a huge improvement for me.

I feel a small sense of achievement for that.

Doreen Virtue: Emotional Expression Through Creativity

Doreen Virtue is an author and spiritual teacher/healer who I truly admire and believe in. She writes about God, but more specifically about angels who she teaches are God’s messengers and helpers. They accept and love us unconditionally and are very much wish to help us, but can only do so if we ask.

She is somebody who has really helped to change my view of God as an all powerful, fearful judge of right and wrong, to one of an unconditionally loving God, who showers us with blessings and wants us to be happy and fulfilled.

She talks in her The Courage to Be Creative of how experience of our emotions and their expression is natural and healthy. In fact she dedicates a whole chapter to The Courage to Feel Your Feelings. She talks about how suppressing these feelings can cause us to be creatively blocked and how creativity “offers us a healthy and lasting outlet for understanding, expressing, and healing emotional pain.”

So here I am doing just that.

For somebody I admire as a spiritual teacher to talk about feeling and expressing emotion, whether pleasant or unpleasant, is quite freeing for me. Taught the opposite at an early age, I’m starting to believe that I am completely loved and loveable for the person I am, as a human being, anger included. We all are.

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Angel Reading Testimonials

I have just added a page of Angel Reading Testimonials. Thank you to all the wonderful people I have worked with, so far, for such great feedback.

If you would like to book an Angel Reading or would just like to know more about them, please visit the Angel Readings page.

Bach Flower Remedy recommendations are included with the reading. Combined with the reading, the personalized guidance and healing tools are provided for you to ease symptoms of depression, anxiety and many other disorders, helping you to move towards self-acceptance and self-love.

Little Me and The Angel

Yesterday I felt depressed. It had been building for a few days.

Before bed I decided to face up to the message in the sadness.

I asked my inner child, Little Me, what was wrong.

She replied that I hadn’t been listening to her needs- for fun, laughter, creativity, drawing, colours, play, adventure, and exploration.

I told her I was so sorry.

She also told me that she felt very sad about things that had happened (when I was younger) and that I was bullying, ignoring, criticizing, judging and belittling her-everytime I spoke to myself harshly. She said she felt scared and that she could never do anything right.

So I held her in my arms and told her how sorry I was and that I would be so much more loving and nurturing of her.

My guardian angel came very close then and sent delicate shivers up and down my back- she was helping me to release toxins and low energies that remained from painful experiences in my childhood. I felt so loved.

My guardian angel guided me to set up protection around myself and my inner child, and to draw the following pictures to cement the protection in my energetic field.

Before she left, she blessed me and lit up my inner child in golden light. I was guided to place Little Me in my heart and surround her with love.

This morning I woke up feeling so much more energized. Little Me was bouncing to get going.

I am so thankful to my guardian angel and to myself for taking the time to ask Little Me what was wrong and to actually listen.

Little Me with my childhood dog- Sam in the centre of the bubbles. My guardian angel behind me. The bubbles are my aura, which is gold and purple- protective colours. Protective angels surround.

Close-up of Little Me and my Guardian Angel.