Tag Archives: Panic Attacks

Overwhelmed!

Overwhelm seems to be happening a lot at the moment.

I can cope with one thing in a day, eg. work, but not 2 or more. Try adding on choir, cooking, seeing friends etc and my anxiety levels shoot up. Being productive with any other activity other than work is just not happening- I can’t concentrate, get easily distracted and restless.

Overwhelm seems to happen when exciting things are happening too. I recently went away to Edinburgh to sing in a choir I’m part of. Most of the members I hadn’t seen for a few months and we were all really excited to see each other again- well, I was excited anyway!!! Couple this with singing awesome music and trips out to shows and tourist attractions and soon I wasn’t coping. Too much excitement!!! I had three panic attacks that week. I hadn’t had one previously for a good few months. I was overly emotional.

I didn’t take this limitation very graciously, and was very angry and frustrated with myself for not being able to join in everything I wanted to. I could try, but panic attacks had already resulted from doing too much.

Accepting limitations is something I’m still working on! Remembering it’s not my fault is important, but also to evaluate whether I’m putting too much pressure on myself or judging myself harshly.

Affirmations that I’m finding helpful from Louise Hay’s companion book to You Can Heal Your Life are:

I have the power, strength and knowledge to handle everything in my life.

I relax into the flow of life and let Life provide all that I need asily and comfortably.

I am enough just as I am.

Louise Hay

 

Bipolar Disorder, Anxiety & Panic Attacks

For the last 7-10 days I’ve been having a bit of a weird mood episode: anxiety, panic attacks, racing thoughts, indecisiveness, restlessness, inability to relax, general muscle tension and disturbed sleep.

Last week I thought it was depression, now I’m veering towards thinking it’s a mixed state. My thoughts aren’t along the severely depressed line, though I would definitely say they’re more negative than usual.

The most debilitating symptom at the moment has been the panic attacks, and yesterday for the first time ever, I had one at home. I usually have them when I’m out in the city or in my previous jobs, so this was a bit of a surprise!

I’m also getting agoraphobia symptoms: anxiety/panic when further away from home/on my own/in crowded places. The anxiety and panic are mild when I’m well, but increase in severity with the presence of a bipolar episode to the point of disrupting regular activities. The following is a very interesting article about Bipolar Disorder and it’s relationship with anxiety. It discusses whether or not it is a symptom of Bipolar or a Separate Condition:

Anxiety and Bipolar Disorder (PsychEducation.org)

 

Other Articles I’ve Found Useful

Very informative website exclusively about Bipolar Mixed States

Anxiety in Depression & Bipolar Disorder: From McMan’s Depression & Bipolar Web

A bit more dry & intellectual, but still interesting: Comorbidity in Bipolar Disorder from Psychiatric Times

Interesting blog post on My Bipolar Bubble: Separation Anxiety and Bipolar Disorder in Children 

 

Photo Credit: freedigitalphotos.net

Don’t Panic, Don’t Panic!!!!

Well, as discussed earlier today I am now screaming my head off to Alanis Morrisette (yes, while I’m writing, I’m a master of multi-tasking)- my angry music. Very therapeutic. After said screaming and writing, Chris will be introducing me to a film called Dark Blood (or something like that) which sooo doesn’t sound like my kind of film- zombies/blood/death- toll of 30 within the first five minutes (Chris’s pre-requisite before he will sit down and watch a film). But, you know, quality time and all that.

Anyway, tomorrow I will make my second attempt at getting to our new choir venue.

I love choir, it brightens my week. We’re working on some great songs and the others make me laugh. But last time I had a panic attack, which started when I got off the bus. I began panicking that I wouldn’t be able to find the new venue. I was really, really tired and it was really hot out. I felt I couldn’t breathe and just wasn’t gonna have the energy to get there- about 10minute walk, that’s all.

I then started worrying about my legs collapsing beneath me and that I’d just end up sitting on the pavement in a bit of a stupor. Don’t panic Rachel, DON’T PANIC!!!! It’s only a little walk, you shouldn’t be getting so worked up! It’s just fight or flight, it’s completely natural. Oh bollocks to CBT!-  Arghhhhh!!!!

My head went all spinny and I couldn’t focus. I felt like I was gonna die in the middle of the street, which would be so embarrassing, right?!

I phoned Chris- help me, help me, HELP ME!!! He calmed me down enough to talk me onto the next bus home. Bloody hell, talk about high-maintenance girlfriend!

I’m dreading the journey tomorrow. Just have to keep my mind on what’s there when I arrive. Tra-la-la-dee-dah…..

Well, off to watch zombies’ heads being blown off. Fun….