Tag Archives: Relationships

Depression, Reiki & New Relationships

ID-10023748Tomorrow I’m going away for the weekend to complete attunements in Angelic Reiki I and II.

I’m really interested to see how the weekend unfolds, especially as depression seems to be tightening its grip.

I’m at that point where trying to change negative thoughts to positive, and look at the things I’m grateful for, is really not coming very easily. And I have to remember that it’s okay to feel this way!

My past experience with Reiki is that it brings up repressed emotions and buried trauma for healing. I think this will be a good thing though, as what I probably need more than anything is a good cry and some emotional release! It’s better than feeling numb and lifeless!

I think I’m going through an angry phase! I’ve had such a fantastic year in so many ways and one of the major blessings has been meeting my boyfriend who is fantastic!

ID-1007068I think I’m feeling so angry though because I wanted things to go according to my plan (which they haven’t):

– be financially independent by working in a stable job to prove to this person that I am capable of it and that my Bipolar symptoms have no power over me!!!!

Ha ha!!! That sounds so funny!! I really do expect a lot of myself don’t I?! Well, it’s good to laugh about it now! I can’t force myself into this little box!

God has another plan and I intend to surrender to that, because I know it’ll work out way better than mine!!

I want to accept that my boyfriend loves me for me (which I know he does). I’m not depressed all the time. It comes in episodes and he knows I have these issues from time to time, so it is a good thing that he can see how things will be with me. I can’t force myself to be someone I’m not.

I intend to remember the parts of me I love too.

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An Exciting Few Days

A Baby!

Not mine 🙂

I’ve had an absolutely brilliant weekend! The most exciting event being that my little sis has just had a baby!! I’m an aunt for the very first time and I can’t tell you how happy that makes me! Charlotte was born on Sunday night at 11.37pm. Interestingly, if she’d been born 23 minutes later, she’d have been a Leo. As it stands she’s a Cancer. Obviously couldn’t decide which one she’d prefer! My sister’s still in hospital at the moment, but all is OK, just a few feeding issues. Can’t wait to meet Charlotte!

 

Cinema & Dinner

Chris (boyfriend) and I went out for a lovely Italian meal on Friday. It was great to share some quality time together and enjoy some gorgeous food. I went all out and had garlic bread, spaghetti carbonara and a dessert too!! I never ever eat three courses so it was a real treat.

The Dark Knight Rises was astounding. I had only read poor reviews of it beforehand so wasn’t expecting much, but I loved it! It was huge in scale and a great conclusion to the brilliant Christopher Nolan trilogy.

Beach

Seeing as the weather has picked up so dramatically over here in Norfolk we grabbed the chance of a beach trip after Chris finished work yesterday. Splashing in the sea always cheers me up and we had a fun time chucking the ball around for Cassie (our dog). Finished off with fish and chips.

Moody Me

My mood has still been erratic: hyper about the baby one minute, irritable and snappy the next.

My anger nearly ran away with me yesterday and Chris got the worst of it. Honestly the guy deserves a knighthood for putting up with me sometimes! (I’m lovely most of the time though :)).

Ate humble pie afterwards and apologised, so we’re fine now. I was just getting really oversensitive to little remarks and him picking at me. Sometimes he does blame everything on me! He’s just a bit stressed so I know it’s not personal, but I’d had a bit of enough yesterday so went off on one!

Sometimes it’s so hard not to take things personally when you’re irritable. I do have a bit of an artistic temperament! Think this is naturally me sometimes rather than all bipolar. It’s very easy to attribute everything to bipolar!

Photo Credit: baby  imagerymajestic via freedigitalphotos.net; beach by dan via freedigitalphotos.net.