Return of the Sneaky Bully Voice

After a bit of a dip yesterday (see Supermarket Anxiety) I decided to try and figure out what was really going on inside for me. Anxiety and a bit of panic in the supermarket are very rarely about shopping- more a symptom of some inner turmoil. (Think I need to alter the combination of Bach Flower Remedies I’m taking.)

So in the evening I sat in bed with my calming pipey music (think spa), shut my eyes and listened to what was going on. Oh my goodness! “You’re fat, you’re ugly, you’ll never get anywhere in life, why are you even bothering”! The negative bully voice has stealthily crept back into my mind over the last week- it’s so sneaky and I NEVER notice it re-emerging until depression/anxiety symptoms have already kicked in.

Before it gets too comfortable I intend to exterminate it swiftly! So far this morning I’m doing pretty well and reminding myself that I’m a pretty awesome person really! It really helps that the sun is shining!

Today I intend to:

Read loads.

Be very nice to myself.

Listen to my favourite music and sing at the top of my voice (sorry neighbours, but I’m on a journey of self-love!).

Look through old magazines and cut out pictures I love (with a view to doing some art- I will, I will, I will start some new art. Really, I will.)

Plan a dream holiday- maybe find some pictures for a new board on Pinterest. (I’m thinking sea, snorkelling, wildlife, amazing scenery, sun, more wildlife, reading, more snorkelling and more wildlife :). And a luxury hotel with a spa. Mmmmmm.)

Wear sunscreen 🙂

If you need a laugh, this is an insanely funny post by a woman called Dotty: The Dotty Way to Exercise. Hilarious.


Oh and don’t watch the romantic drama One Day with Anne Hathaway & Jim Sturgess. SHE DIES! HORRIBLY! They don’t put that on the box!! They really should put that on the box or give you some kind of warning!!! Over-sensitive people like me get extremely upset when things like this happen! It’s very traumatising. I’ll need a few days to get over it.

4 thoughts on “Return of the Sneaky Bully Voice

  1. mentalhealthtalk

    I’d say take care of yourself Rachel but it sounds like you’ve got that covered! Awesome.

    If you ever want to camp in Ontario as your dream vacation (or otherwise), send me an email and I will happily be your guide. 🙂

    Thinking of you and sending you loving vibes.


  2. Pingback: Self-Forgiveness: A Work in Progress | My Bipolar Life

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